Understated
by Lucy The Lightless
Summary: He saved his brother from the gate; He saved a girl from becoming a murderer; He has saved an entire country from a fate worse than death; But in the beginning, he was the one who needed saving.
1. SHADOWS

"_You are Golden_

_You are a golden child_

_Don't let go,_

_don't let go tonight"_

**SHADOWS**

"Ed? Do you need anything?" Winry opened the door to Ed's dark room. He often insisted on being alone, much to the worry and dismay of Al, and Winry. It had already been a week since the accident. Since Ed's eyes lost all the fire, all the drive that they once had. Since Al's existence became cold and empty.

The two boys were shrouded in a shadow. A shadow that took it's refuge in Ed's heart. It sucked his life away. Kept him from even _looking_ at the ones he loved.

"No, not really." He croaked weakly. She was able to make out that he was sitting upright in his bed. He even turned Al away. The younger Elric would spend most of his time helping granny with the Automail business, while Winry devoted all her time to Ed's care. She secretly drew up Automail schematics in hope that he would find a reason to walk again. And she was always keeping fresh bandages and water near her, for when she would walk into his dark cave.

"Ed, those bandages are dirty, and you sound parched. You should take care of your self." Her lighthearted tone fell dead in the broken air. She stood still at the door. "It can't be good for you to sit in the dark so much. Let me turn on some lights." He only grunted as the darkness was chased away by blinding lights. She walked up to the squinting boy. "See what that does to you?" Her hands found his shoulder, and began working the bandages from the damaged flesh. He didn't even wince anymore. It hardly seemed like he was alive. Her wide blue eyes scanned him over, searching for any sign of a response. She wanted to believe that her friend was not completely gone.

"Ed, You know, Alphonse doesn't blame you." No response. "He still wants to spend time with you." Silence. "Ed, I thought your brother meant something to you!" Anger flooded his dead eyes. Comments about his bond with his brother seemed to strike a nerve. She sat next to him on the bed, trying to keep her hands from trembling. When the anger left, he looked weaker still. "Ed! Why wont you answer me? Why are you giving up like this?" He turned his face away. It didn't even seem like he was listening. "Why are you so intent on making yourself miserable. I can understand feeling remorse about this for a while, but you need to keep living. You're still alive, and we're still young." Her words shot out, far beyond her years. The both of them had seen far more than what their years could account for. They were adults in children's skin. The world weary and desperate. Asking why.

"Edward..." Her voice grew shaky. His body tensed at the sound of tears threatening to fall. "Edward, Alphonse doesn't blame you. So please stop blaming yourself, stop trying to kill your self. I know that you haven't been eating much. I've found the food you've hidden, and I can tell when you feed it to Den."

"It's none of your business whether I eat or not..." He grumbled. Finally something.

"Yes it is! When it's a matter of your life!"

"Why do you care so much about me, huh?" His question took her aback, she drew away as if she had been shocked. She grew angry. "Why is that a bad thing? Why do I have to have a reason to care for you! You're in need, so I help you, and-" He relaxed a little. She continued the work on his shoulder.

"Ed, I don't understand why you think you're so unworthy of everything. Unworthy of happiness, of love, of...life...Ed, You're hu-"

"Just shut up Winry!" His tone was dark. She couldn't speak.

"Wha-"

"I said shut up."

"Why should I?"

"Because it's true! I'm not worthy of _anything_ after the mistake I made, after what I did to my _brother_." His remaining fist clenched.

Winry tied the final knot on his arm tightly.

She couldn't think of anything to do to make him see that she cared about him. That he was still worth anything.

Her body moved on it's own as she tackled the weakened Ed flat onto his bed.

"What the hell are you d-" She cut him off, pressing her body flat to his. Winding her arms around his misshapen torso. Tears soaked in the blanket next to his head. Into his hair.

"I'm trying to show you that I care. You deserve to be cared about, it was just a mistake-"

"No Winry, I knew the risks!" He tried to push her away but she clamped even tighter, crying harder.

"You just wanted to see your mother again. I understand! When mom and dad died, I would have done anything-"

"Stop trying to compare yourself to me! You're nothing like me!" He writhed even harder, but his chivalry and fatigue stopped him escaping.

"Stop trying to cut yourself off. Your just another human...Ed.." Her tears conquered her words.

"Stop crying...I can't stand to see you cry over something so _stupid_."

"Maybe if you stopped thinking that you are a "Stupid" reason, than maybe I would cry less." Her tears dried, as she let her self relax. She propped her self up. Locking her gaze with his. Willing for there to be a spark in those golden eyes.

Forcing down a blush, she helped the crippled boy back into a sitting position. Cradling him. He looked like he could break apart. But was held together by sheer force of will.

"Let me do your leg now."

"Mn, right."

Her hands worked quickly, diligently, skillfully, and purposefully. She had to put him back together. These dripping, glittering fragments of regret and pain. They could be assembled again. If only she tried hard enough.

I will support him always. I will help him walk again. He's strong. Somehow, he'll find a way to smile again.

She smoothed out his bandaged leg, massaged the sore spots delicately, He grimaced, but she persisted. She placed a cup of water to his parched lips. He seemed to accept it with more...vigor, was it? More purpose...? And she could swear she saw a flicker.

"Ed...Good night..." She began to walk away when he snagged her dress with his hand.

"Wait, Winry..."

"Yeah?" She said suppressing her surprise at his forwardness.

"Uhm..." He blushed red, searching for words.

"Yeah?" She pried wryly.

"Thank you." He grumbled.

"You're very welcome." She took that opportunity to plant a solid kiss on his forehead. Leaving him wide-eyed and blushing.

Anything was better than dead-eyed, she decided.

* * *

><p><strong>I wanted to make sure that I could still write in third person, so I started a series of one-shots while on a 36 hour ferry ride. This will mostly deal with EdXWin-ness that dosen't appear in the canon story. So all the time-skip stuff. Not just post, <strong>

**I hoped you liked this chapter.**

**REVEIW**

**NOW  
>DO IT<strong>


	2. LIMBS

"_You're the feet to the lame and walking"_

LIMBS

Everyday was a struggle. A struggle to face himself in the morning. All the mistakes that he made, a struggle to look his suffering brother in the cold, white eyes. A struggle to keep walking when every step foreword meant he was leaving his innocence further and further behind. He had two legs and two arms now, given, they didn't always work exactly how he wanted. With every fall, every day spent out of a wheel chair, was one day closer to fixing his mistakes. Until then, he would never stop moving.

"Winry! I don't need you looming over me all the time! I can walk on my own now!" He attempted to shove the girl away, but the momentum threw him off balance, causing him to fall hard on his automail shoulder. The metal ground against the fragile bone causing him to scream through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, sure." Her words were irritated, but her hands were gentile on the red swollen flesh. She had taken to keeping bandages on her, since he seemed to strain his outfitting every day. She tightened the cloth around the afflicted area to force it back into the proper position.

"Winry! That hurts!"

"Do you want to liquefy your collarbone?"

"No..."

"Didn't think so," Her hands seemed to linger on her craftsmanship, but really, she was caressing the boy, he was so stressed and so arrogant...

"Ed, you need to stop being so stuck up and...idiotic...You're going to seriously injure your self if you don't take it easy." Her words were laced with worry. He kept dislocating his shoulder and straining his knee port because he was so stupidly eager.

"I know you want to help your brother, but you can't if you break yourself. Relax a bit."

"How can I relax when _my little brother _ is sitting unfeeling, and cold, and it's my fault." His face was dark and turned away, she grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her.

"You don't need to relax, you just need to quit being reckless! Alphonse wouldn't want you to hurt your self for him, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself!"

He winced and clenched his automail fist.

"Stop acting like you know everything about us." He stood up, rotating his metal arm, and kicking out his leg.

He placed one arm around Winry's shoulders, she blushed, but knew,

"Come on, let's walk somewhere, " He frowned as he blushed.

"Alright."

She grinned larger than she had in a while.

The healing had truly begun.

* * *

><p><strong>Sweet sunbeam jesus. this is short. Is this more like a drabble? Maybe? No? I'm still new to this. So. I hope it's good. <strong>

**and that I didn't like, let you down or anything.**

**I love you!**

**-Lucy**


	3. HAIR

HAIR

His hair marked the length of journey. He stopped cutting it after the incident. For a long while he let it hang shaggily to his shoulders until he awkwardly asked to barrow one of Winry's hair ties, as he owned none. Winry insisted on playing with his hair when he lay in partial comatose after getting adjustments to his automail. She would fiddle around until she found a style she liked best, the braid. He would protest about how girlish it looked, but she would complain about how it would be boring to just keep it in a ponytail. Also, he'd look darkly at the one photo left of his father, then reluctantly agree with her.

* * *

><p>"Ed! if you're going to keep it long you need to brush it!"<br>"Stop nagging me! It dosen't matter how it looks! It's fine how it is!"  
>She sneered evily. "Lucky you're a heavy sleeper." She held up a pair of scissors menacingly.<br>"Fine! Fine!" As re grumpily took the brush she had earlier been waving in his face. He let his hair trickle down his face, falling gentle on his shoulders. Winry took in a small gasp. The sight was still so glorious to her.

He began to violently tear through his hair with the brush.

"No!" She whacked him on the head. "You'll ruin your hair like that!"  
>"Are you ever happy?" He yelled as he clenched his new bump. But then her hand fell gently on the brush. Working it from his fingers. His face pinkened at the touch.<br>"Let me show you how you brush your hair." She took to his golden locks. Gently, ever so gently working the bristles through the strands. He could only stare at her dumbfounded. He was sure that she'd use this opportunity to hurt him. But soon enough his hair was neat, and she twisted it back into a braid.  
>"There you go Ed."<br>"Mm."  
>She stared at him sadly for a bit. He was always like this. So unresponsive and cold. She was about to stand up just leave him be, but.<br>"You sure you're ok, Ed?" She leaned over to look at his face. "You look sad all of a sudden." Who was she kidding he always looked sad.  
>"Do you want me to teach you?" Those words hurt. Because she knew if she taught him, then he would need her even less. Because being dependent on others for even the smallest things made him feel weak guilty.<br>"Sure. Why not" He shrugged.  
>But it wasn't easy to forget. Even on his journeys. Every time he twisted his hair back into a braid, he would remember her pale delicate hands guiding his clumsy fingers through the process.<br>It was just another one of the little ways he carried her with him.

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><p><strong>Dear god it's so short!<strong>

**Well. I think it's kinda cute though. I hope you like it.**

**but...really. fluffy.**

**uhg.**

**But, I have more on the way, so don't loose faith in me.**

**Love,**

**-Lucy  
><strong>


	4. REMEMBER

"_Oh, I'm a wandern' soul_

_I'm still walking the line that leads me home_

_Alone_

_All I know_

_I still got mountains to climb on my own"_

REMEMBERING

He would never ever admit how much he thought of her when he traveled. He would never admit to the nights he stared at his arm, only to see her smiling face. He would claw weakly at his leg, and remember the dozens of time she relocated his shoulder and bandaged his knees. He'd remember the nights he'd fall asleep at her workstation, waking up to a smile and a warm blanket. He'd remember the night she first kissed his forehead, urging him to move forward. He'd recall the myriad other ways she showed him that she truly cared, only to then think of all the times he spat in her face. All the times he lashed out, taking out his anger for himself on her. But after he got clobbered with a wrench, she'd just go back to smiling and helping him walk, back to giving him reflex training, and when he got past that, she would grumble from the sidelines at he and Al's sparring matches. No matter how much she disapproved, she'd be there with disinfectant, bandages and polishing oil; for both of them.  
>And now he continued to walk farther away, tackling obstacle after obstacle in the long winter of his life. He would keep his promise, he would move forward, but he won't be able to forget what he was leaving behind.<p>

"_Back from the dead we went through,_

_Back from the dead and all our leaves are dry_

_You look so beautiful tonight"_

Another thing that he'd never admit was how big of a _lie_ every _single_ one of the insults that he threw at Winry were. Well, "Bitch" was pretty accurate, but "Ugly" "Un-girly" "Unsexy", as the years went on, he began to take the antonyms of those terms and toss them around her image. He would think that, only to push them away. No. No way he could think of his crazy, gear-head mechanic friend like that.  
>But nonetheless, he did. She was beautiful. And she was <em>always<em> waiting for him. How did he ever come to be this lucky? He still tried to believe that "God" was spiting him. Spitting in his face. But every now and then he could see blessings, if only he looked.

* * *

><p>"You forgot, didn't you Ed?"<br>"Probably. What is it this time?"  
>"Today is your birthday." She said flatly.<br>"Oh really. So how old _am_ I now?"  
>"You're 12."<br>"Really." He paused. "Wait, dose that mean it's been a year yet?"  
>"Not quite. Ed, you're still using crutches most of the time."<br>"Right." She looked at him with concern.  
>"You really don't need to force yourself so much."<br>"Winry! Stop telling me that! I need to-" She didn't want to hear that speech again. So she shoved the small box in his face.  
>"Eh?"<br>"Your present" she spat.  
>"Oh, Ok."<p>

He took the box casually and tore off the paper. His eyes widened, as he held the up the small trinket.

"What is it?"

"I made it. it's..it's a-"

"A Flamel. " he corrected.

"Y-yeah. I couldn't think of anything... .I hope you don't think it's weird" she was oddly nervous.

"No, no I think it's cool. I just am afraid I'll lose something like this. Since I'm going to be a state alchemist and all. It's a hectic life style.

"Then, why don't you wear it when you come back?"

"Huh?"

"Just keep it here until you're back for good. I'll hold onto it for you."

"You sure?" He was surprised at how kind, and...gentle she was being tonight.

"Yeah. I'll be able to hold onto it for you. Because, I'll want you to come back. Ok?"

"Yeah, we'll be back once things are set right." He caught himself starting at turned away again. He flushed. "But yeah, thanks. I..like it a lot." He said with difficulty.

"You better!" She punched him the side a little too hard to be joking.

"Hey! Winry!"

"Just concentrate on walking on your own for now, kay? Don't get ahead of yourself." She stood up. "But please, just let me help you" with a smile, he grabbed her extended hand and lunged up. They almost fell into an embrace. Their chetss collided with much blushing/ He steadied himself, avoiding her gaze.

She was definitely making turns words woman-hood, he couldn't help but notice. Winry just snickered at his ridiculous expression.

"What's up Ed? You still embarrassed that you're shorter than me?" A jab at his hight was the best way to surpress her feelings of juvenile attraction that welled in her. She Didn't know what her feelings meant, so she shoved them away,

They both did.

"Hey! If I didn't have this _lousy leg_ holding me down I'd be taller already!"

"Without that "Lousy leg" you'd still be in a wheel chair!"

"Why dose it have to be made out of metal anyway? Why not plastic or rubber!"

"The metal is required for a complicated distribution of chemical energy and heat energy that an alchemy freak like you wouldn't understand!"

"That's science! I can understand science you freaky gear head!"

"Stop insulting the girl who gives her time and effort to help you through the recovery!"

"Heh, I don't need you!" That made her snap, sending him flying from the tip of her now bloody wrench.

"AUUGH! WINRY!"

"If you're so convince that you don't need me! Then fine! I wont help you!" she stormed out of the shop, up the stairs, flinging her self on to her bed. Wrench still in hand.

She cried out of anger, frustration, sadness and... Remorse.

_Damnit Ed. Why do you effect me like this?_

Mis-matched steps pattered down the hallway soon after.

"Winry? Uh...Al told me that I should apologize. So, uh. I'm sorry."

He said it. He said those words. He, _never_ Apologized.

"It's ok Ed, I forgive you."

She forgave him. Ed was already prepared to get another beating. But instead walked away, strangely happy that he managed to not anger her.

Every year on his birthday, that memory pricked in his mind. Also the last present Winry gave him. That silver flamel that was waiting somewhere in that house. She would probably think that he would forget it, after 1, 2, 5 years. But he didn't, he couldn't he still had something, _someone_, to come home to.

* * *

><p>Sorry for the long update guys. I was stressed out about what to write, but i just let me self go and I came up with that nice little scene.<p>

Hope you liked it.

REVEIW

because you have an insentive.

-Lucy


	5. DEPARTURE

DEPARTURE

They were leaving today. They had burnt their house to the ground. Leaving nothing. They didn't want to look back, now they couldn't. How could they with nothing there? But most of all she was scared that burning their home meant that they would never come back. She didn't know what she would do if they left forever. But, with Ed breaking his automail so often, they would return, but for how long?

"So you're really leaving."

"Yeah, Now that I'm a state certified alchemist, I have no need to stay here. All the resources I need are in central."

"B-but, please promise you'll visit?"

"Why should I? Whenever I'm around, you just nag me about doing my maintenance."

"Is that so bad? If you're using it in combat, it needs to be working smoothly! You'd never remember if I didn't tell you."

"Yeah, whatever."

He continued to shove his few remaining belongings into the large red suitcase.

As he began to leave "I really do hope you find what you're looking for."

"Ok," He didn't really know how to respond. But he stared at Winry for a while, trying to understand her expression. She was happy, but not, she was sad, but seemed hopeful. She walked up next to him, grabbed his right arm absentmindedly.

"Maybe this will remind you of me." At first he thought she was referring to the automail, but suddenly, she moved her face close to his, he almost lurched away, but she managed to peck his cheek. "Be safe," she murmured

He was even more speechless as he walked to the train with his brother. On the train to central, all he could think about was the home he was leaving behind, although, he'd rather die than admit that.

* * *

><p>And three years later.<p>

* * *

><p>She returned to the couch next to Edward after Alphonse had left. This time she carefully cradled his head in her lap. Old habits soon consuming her hand as her right hand through his...sunlight. It was like sunlight. Both physically, and figuratively.<p>

She sighed, for her fingers met many scars and scratches along their nostalgic run. They were everywhere. On his scalp and all the way around his jawline. She would probably encounter more if she dared to search further. Painful records of the life that was kept from her. Hidden inside bruised flesh. Her hand fell limply away with something akin to sadness. Her other hand clenched the soft blue fabric of his muscle shirt.. She knew it wouldn't wake him. It would take an invasion to even stir him when he slept. _Especially_ after automail installment.

He would be so flustered if he woke up now.

She smiled at the thought of his hasty shouted words that would fail to hide his embarrassment.

_I just might want to see that._

She mused deviously. But her thoughts felt muted. After all, she hadn't slept in three days.

Well, maybe a little nap here wouldn't be so bad. She felt her head loll. She was so...sleepy...

She yawned, sleep deprivation taking hold.

* * *

><p>"W-winry?" He definitely wasn't expecting to wake up to this.<p>

"Winry- What the-" His head resting on her lean thighs, with her slender body stretching along his own. His eyes led him to her head nestled in his abdomen.

He also couldn't help but notice that her chest...was mere inches from his face.

"Hey! Get off!" He began to shift, dragging some belated moans from her drooping form.

Right. She hadn't slept in three days. Because of him. Plus, if he woke her now she would be pissed. _really _pissed. He shuddered at the thought. She definitely deserved a little rest. No matter the conditions...

But she definitely would pay for any grief he'd suffer by the hands of Pinako or Al...

"Win'. You really don't need to push your self no hard." He reached his hand out haphazardly to her face. But retracted it, for the cold metal was sure to jerk her from her sleep.

And... his left hand was currently trapped somewhere underneath her. Losing feeling.

He tried regain blood flow in his arm. The movement threatening to throw him from the couch, and unleash Winry's wrath. Eventually, he got it free, but now it was even closer to her chest.

_Crap. Didn't think this through. She'll kill me even if I accidentally cop a feel._

He grumbled silently to himself for awhile, until he staggering closeness of his childhood friend, and her omnipresent warmth sent him to sleep again.

At some point in the night, he found himself chilled to the bone. For mere moments, that in his groggy dream-scape felt like hours. Until it was replaced by a lesser, artificial warmth. Every cell in his body mourned the loss of what he had been secretly craving since she last kissed him good bye...all those years ago.

She was always doing unexpected things. He swore that he'd never understand that crazy woman.

_but, that would truly be the greatest challenge and adventure of them all._


	6. GREIF

**Bonus drabble time!**

**I love you so much that you get a treat.**

**I wrote this while procrastinating...**

**ahah...  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It stared all too fast for anyone to be able to stop it. Not even Ed's ego and conscious could stop him when his lips met hers. She had only just stopped crying. The news of Hughes' death was hard for both of him. His heart ached to see her so close, but, still hurting. She didn't need to hurt. Hughes didn't need to die. If only he- If only- he hadn't gotten him involved. None of this would have happened.<p>

"Winry..." He stood up, moving consciously to her side, Where he joined her on the couch. She was still sobbing. All he could do place his flesh hand on her convulsing shoulders and try to mutter false comforts. But he was no good at that. Never was he able to say what he meant. Especially around her.

"Winry...please jus-" her sobs faded to weak shudders under his fingertips. He was shocked to notice that her hand had been clenching the fabric of his pants. Her slender fingers balled into fist. A shape that didn't fit them at all.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He reached his right arm to her other shoulder. Meeting her clouded eyes with his blank ones.

"Yeah, Ed. I'm fine." She choked out. She lifted her hand to dab at her eyes, but he beat her to it.

His hand lingered on her face. She placed her hand over his hesitant one. She sighed. Clenching it.

"I'm sorry Ed. I know it's shameful to cry like this." Her fists relaxed.

He kept eying her hands nervously. Afraid she was going to hit him. But, his eyes seemed to dart more frequently to her trembling lips. She was weak from crying so hard, and he was unreasonable from grief and stress.

Their walls were down. The flood gates broken.

The glances turned to gazes, and the gazes to stares. He looked at her lips like he had never before. They were something different now, something he couldn't explain. But he didn't need to. He looked at their clasped hands resting between them. And made his hasty, muddled decision.

He kissed her. Probably a little roughly, but both of them were too shocked to care. He just couldn't stand to see her twisted frown, so the next best option was to force it into a smile.  
>With his own mouth.<p>

He could literally taste her smiles. Sweet on his lips. Their hands soon found each other. Grabbing hold. threatening to never let go. It was too lonely to sit apart. Too _unbearable. _  
>He ran is fingers through her hair. Her fingers trickled down his arms and chest setting his nerves a blaze.<p>

But he had to stop it. It had to stop before it went too far.

Against the grain of his body, against his desires, he wrenched him self away. Leaving her slightly dazed on the sofa.

It felt wrong to take advantage of her grief. It also felt wrong, _enjoying _himself, _wasting time _he could use for sleeping and building up his strength. With Al just in the other room. His cold, hollow little brother.

"Ed? What's wrong?" He heard her shift into an upright position. He writhed away from her hand that only brought comfort.

He felt so guilty.

"I'm sorry Winry. I shouldn't have done that."

"You don't have to be sorry. I wanted it, so it's o-"

"It's not okay! You're only willing because you're grief-stricken. I've heard plenty of stories about bastards who take advantage of girls after some one close to them dies."

"Well Ed, I'm not the only one grieving, so maybe I'm taking advantage of you."

That was probably true. He knew there was no way he could ever resist her.

But most of all. He just knew that this just wasn't the time. No matter how much he wanted to, how much he loved it. He just couldn't let himself do this. Not when he still had a promise to fulfill.

"Ed! Wait!" She had grabbed his hand, preventing him from leaving. "I realize that you go through a lot. But most of it, you put on yourself. You don't need to bare the burden alone."

He yanked his hand away. "Ed! Why do you think it helps to just shut everything out?"

"Winry... I have other reasons too." He said in a low tone. "There's no way I can do that and still call myself a good older brother."

"Ed.." She reached out again

"Not when Al loves you too!" He flushed and slammed the door shut. Leaving her alone.

She noticed that he had said _too_. So, he indirectly admitted to loving her back.

Love.

It was love wasn't it?


	7. LOSS

LOSS

The two young Elrics ran up the hill in tears to their mother. She pulled the two boys into her warm and comforting arms. Shushing away their tears.

"Well dears, I thought you were going to play with Winry today." Trisha said while ruffling her eldest son's hair.

Wiping his tears away, Ed replied "Yeah, but since Winry's parents died. I started talking about how they could be brought back, and then they got mad at me." He pouted.  
>"Edward, Dear." Their mother Knelt down to their level. "Losing someone you love is very hard. You should be nicer to people who are in mourning."<br>"But we're not gonna lose you, right Mom?" Al said softly.  
>"Not for a long time." She said with a bright smile.<br>But Ed's genius mind latched onto the previous statement.  
>"Mom, Have you ever lost someone you loved?"<br>Her face grew solemn. "Yes, My parents, when I was a bit older than you. But I had Sara, Urey and Pinako to help me through it." She looked seriously at the two of them. "That's why we need to be there for Pinako and Winry. You two are Winry's friends." Singling Ed out, she said, "Ed, I think you need to go apologize to Winry and Pinako."  
>"Do I haft'a?"<br>"Yes. And make sure that Winry knows that you'll be there for her." She sent him off with a kiss to the forehead, and she led Al by the hand back to the house. He looked apologetically back at his brother.

Fuming with the unfairness of his situation, he ran back down the hill to the Rockbell's Yellow house. Knocking on the door, he thought of what he was going to say. But no mater what, he was sure he was just going to get concussed by his maniac friend.  
>"Who is it at this time-" Pinako paused in opening the door when she caught sight of him.<br>"Edward? And alone? What do you want?"  
>Avoiding her gaze stubbornly, "My mom made me come back to apologize for what I said. I'm sorry, it was wrong."<br>"I appreciate your apology, but I think Winry would appreciate a bit more than just a "Sorry". "  
>She was not in the living room when he entered. "She's up in her bedroom." Ed nodded in understanding.<br>He walked slowly up the stairs. Still fuzzy on what he was supposed to do.  
>He stood at her door not even bothering to knock. He'd get yelled at either way.<br>"Winry?" He didn't hear her crying right away, so he thought she might be asleep, but she was sniffling softly with her family photo clutched in her tiny hands.  
>"What do you want Ed?" She said angrily.<br>"Uh. Nothing. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and-" She burst into to tears again, diving head-first into her covers.  
>"Winry!" He dashed to her side. Looking on awkwardly, until he placed a comforting hand on her back, that caused her sobs to stop suddenly.<br>"I'm really sorry, Win-UNF" She forcefully hugged him. Almost causing him to fall on top of her. Her tears soaked into the collar of his cotton shirt. "Winry. Please don't Cry." His hands twitched at his side. "I hate it when you cry."  
>She lifted her tear-stained eyes to look at him. "You do?"<br>"Yeah." He muttered. She was surprised by his caring and sensitivity. She relaxed into his awkward but sincere embrace.  
>Soon the tears would change their origin.<p>

* * *

><p>"Ed? Al? How is your m-" Winry dropped the bowl of water she brought. Not even acknowledging the freezing stains now covering her dress. All she saw was her two beloved friends crying like she had never seen them cry before. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw how pale their normally lively and kind mother had become. So pale. So still.<p>

She was dead.

In a state of petrified sorrow, she walked slowly to the two shuddering forms, and she embraced them both from behind. Bringing their heads together at her tiny chest. They turned themselves to her, too shocked and weighed down by their grief to care. Seeing her friends like this, the normally resolute girl resisted tears for their sake. She endured their anguish, screaming that they were to weak to save her.  
>They were 5 and 6 years old. What could they have done? But this fact could not wash the blackening guilt from their shattered hearts.<p>

Winry busied herself with picking up the pieces. Garnering countless cuts and wounds from the horrifyingly bladed pieces. Her own blood, tears and love became ingrained within them.

One murky and cloudy day, Years later, Edward did not show up for dinner.

"I wonder where that boy could have wandered off to..." Pinako mused, while looking out the window. "Al, do you know?" The wiry old lady turned on the doubly worried young boy.

"No...But he forced me to stay here. He didn't want me following..." Winry was shocked by this. Ed never shoved Al away. They were always together.

Without thinking, Winry walked briskly out the door, not even bothering to grab a coat.

"Where do you think you're going Winry? A storm's coming!"

"All the more reason for me to find him!" The 11 year old girl slammed the door and ran down the darkening slope. She could only hope he was where she thought he was. She ran as fast as she could. Her breath catching on the increasing humidity in the air, her body tingling with building electricity as the sky filled itself with rage.

"Ed..." She breathed out between staggering breaths, until finally the graveyard came into view. She could see up on the hill, a small curled boy.

"Ed!" She tried to scream, but her voice was thin with fatigue.

Ed was too engrossed in his thoughts and schemes to hear the pattering of feet and the panicked breathing of that infallible girl. "Ed!" His breathless name only brought him out of his shell slightly. But her clammy arms and drooping form sent shocks of life through his sodden body. He turned dull and puzzled eyes to her. He couldn't quite yet understand why she was embracing him.

"Ed...Ed, Let's go home." Home. He had no home. Not after she died. That's why he needed so desperately to bring her back.

He remained silent and unresponsive as she shook him and pleaded with him. Trying to break him free from his broken trance. "Ed-" Suddenly the sky split apart with a resounding crash that wrenched a loud fearful scream from Winry's lungs. She ducked her head in to Ed's chest. Almost knocking him over. Suddenly he realized what was happening, and what they had to do. "Win! Quick! To the shed!" They bolted from the ground, remembering the lighting safety that Pinako had drummed into their heads and they clambered into the rickety tool shed. They collapsed next to each other, breathing heavily. Ed looked at her fearful expression with concern. "What're you so afraid for Win'?" He leaned over to her, only to have her throw her arms around his neck as another blade of light streaked across the blank expanse.

"Win...it's alright...just calm down. We'll be okay." He did his best to soothe her erratic sobs that shook them both.  
>"I-I'm sorry Ed...I came here to help you...now..look at me-" the sky smashed together once more. She let out more cries of terror.<p>

"Win...Why did you come after me?"  
>"I was worried, you idiot!" She choked on her tears, coughing harshly through her clogged and raspy throat. He was shocked again as she plummeted into his chest. Trembling. He was always so baffled by her. Through all the years he'd known her, her ability to change from strong and angry to broken and fearful was astonishing.<p>

He wrapped his arms around her. They were older now, so the hug meant more. It _felt_ like so much _more, _than the comforting embraces upon their respective losses. Holding these things in mind, he started to realize that they were getting older. Inevitably, running out of time.

They breathed together slowly, as the lighting disappeared back into the darkness, and Winry's irrational convulsions, subsided.  
>"Winry? Are you okay now?"<br>"Mm." she grunted affirmatively.

He stood up, pulling her by the wrists to her feet. She was taller than him so her weight was difficult to steady."Geez Winry, are you such a 'fraidycat that you can't even stand up right?"  
>"Shut up shrimp!"<br>"Hey! Don't call me a shrimp so small the fishermen rejected it be-" His words were cut short by her hand in his dragging him from the musty shed and into the suddenly blazing and warm gold air. They shielded their eyes from the glare, with their hands still clasped together, they walked together out of the graveyard.  
>"Ed." She said as they walked back to the house. "I just want you to know that I'll always be here." He turned, Her sincere words chipping away at his resolve to commit the forbidden.<br>"Right." He said to break her off.

"I know you still grieve over your mother, but...We're still alive, that's what matters..." She had said a variation of those words to him countless times before. But there was a seed of dark determination in him that refused to die, even with her pointed words. The ravenous weed kept coming back.

He would bring his mother back to life. He wouldn't need to worry Winry and Pinako anymore. He would see her smile again and feel her warm embrace.

After dinner, he left Winry asleep on the couch, and ushered Al back to their home.

* * *

><p><em>"Dammit! Ung! This can't be happening!"<em>


	8. REALIZE

The bitter air of Briggs leeched Edward's sleep away, causing him to flounder back to consciousness in an unfamiliar, dim room.  
>"Huh? Where am I?" He rubbed his forehead while sitting up.<br>"I had you moved to this room. I told them there was problems with your ports." Winry's voice drew his shocked face to her direction.  
>"Is there really?"<br>"Not anymore." She stripped off her gloves in one swift motion.  
>"Why the hell is it so dark?"<br>"You were sleeping."  
>"Wont they be suspicious?"<br>"No. The guards wont be back for another hour or so. I insisted that it was crucial to your well- being."  
>"And they care about that?"<br>"Apparently." He could hardly make out her nervous smile.  
>"I don't buy it." He growled disgruntledly.<br>"You're so mistrusting, Ed."  
>"I have a right to be mistrusting with military, especially these Briggs bastards."<br>She absentmindedly began wiping his arm with cleaning polish.  
>"Whatever Ed. They seem really nice."<br>"Only to you because you're a girl." _With a pretty face and big boobs_. He muttered under his breath.  
>"What was that?"<br>"Uh….nothing?"  
>She glared at him knowingly.<br>He had seen that dirty mechanic along with those other soldiers checking her out. He had only resisted the urge to pound them to the ground because Winry was there. She wouldn't approve. She hated to see him fight. That sight would hurt her more than the filthy gazes of those men, in the long run.  
>"I don't think so. That general is a woman too! I saw her! She's much more of an issue in that category!"<br>"But she's a freaking merciless beast! I don't think she's even human! Let alone a woman"  
>"Ugh, whatever." She groaned.<br>He hastily changed the subject." So...uh.. How long have I been asleep?"  
>"Hm… A few hours. A little shorter than normal. So maybe you have gotten a little stronger after all."<br>"No shit." He began stretching his arm routinely as he shifted off the bed.  
>She frowned, "But you haven't grown that's for sure." That frown cracked.<br>"I have too grown!" He lashed. "You just haven't bothered to measure me!"  
>"I don't bother cus' I know there won't be any change!"<br>He stopped. She had her face rather close to his.  
>His body fell with a magnetic influence towards her in the half-darkness.<br>A small secluded part of himself longed to taste her again. Insisted that the kiss was short, too shallow. That part of him would take over if he didn't get out of this arousing darkness.  
>"Where the hell is the light switch?" He groped around to the door where light was seeping from.<br>"Actually..." She began. "I couldn't find it."  
>"Eh?"<br>"I looked earlier."  
>"So that's the real reason-" He stood up to move to the door.<br>"And they locked us in."  
>"They what?"<br>"It was the only way they'd leave us alone!" She sputtered.  
>"Why did you want to be alone?"<br>"I thought you might actually tell me some things if we were alone!"  
>He whipped around. "Don't you already know enough? Winry, your life is on the line by just knowing me all these years. You're a target. If you know anymore you'll just be in more danger! Do you have a death wish or something?"<br>She was taken aback his anger.  
>"Why are you afraid? You'll protect me, right?" She threw her fists to her sides "I'm just sick of being in the dark and watching you take all the burden on yourselves!"<br>They hardly inches apart by now.  
>"Win'-" He began. He stood in front of her. Staring straight into her eyes. "AHAH! I have grown!" He exclaimed triumphantly<br>"I'm still looking down on you, so you're still a shrimp."She laughed jarringly in his face. Her nose brushing the tip of his.  
>He blushed. Too distracted by her impending closeness to muster a retort. She gazed at him baffled.<br>"...Ed..?"  
>He seized up his face and trudged back to the hospital bed. He paused with his back to her.<br>"I'm going back to bed." He got roughly back into bed.  
>"Ed!"<br>"Honestly Winry. There's nothing more to know after all we talked about in the hotel. I'm not hiding things from you. Okay?"  
>He rolled over.<br>"But...do you have to go to sleep?"  
>"Hm?"<br>She edged closer, sitting back on her chair.  
>"Can't you at least stay awake and just talk to me?" He could only just make out her sad expression.<br>"There's nothing really to talk about." He muttered. "How about you go to sleep too."  
>"There isn't another bed."<br>"I thought this was a hospital." He buried his face in the stiff pillow.  
>"Scoot over Edward!"<br>"Ahk!" She ripped up the covers and clambered into the bed next to him, threatening to throw him off. "What the hell are you doing! This bed is tiny!"  
>"Grow up! Or would you rather I slept on the floor!"<br>"Yes!" She wapped him. Hard.  
>"Ung!"<br>"If you think that I need to sleep then I'll sleep."  
>"Yeah, but not when you're practically on top of me."She only huffed as she turned over. Back to him.<br>He knew that she fell asleep quickly. So he slinked out of the bed after a few minutes. He would not endanger her any more. If any one here got any more knowledge of there closeness. She would truly come to harm.  
>That was enough from him to deprave himself of that wonderful warmth that could sooth him to sleep in a thunderstorm.<br>Just the mere nearness of her had that effect on him. Although his outward reaction was quite the contradiction.  
>So he settled for the hard chair Winry had sat in. He watchers her lightly illuminated figure until the Briggs men came to escort him back to Kimbley.<br>_As long as she's safe…_


	9. DREAM

DREAM

She slept soundly, surprisingly enough. Even when her temperature dropped to a chill, that didn't dampen her dreaming, or more, remembering.

_"Winry! Winry!" Grandma? "I'm glad you waited until the procedure was finished to pass out, but I think it'd be in your best interest to wash up and what not. You look like a Coroner." So much blood. Ed's blood._ _"Right, Granny." So much light, colors._

_Another voice floated in "Win-ry..." I found myself arched over a pile of starch-clean white...sheets. Sheets. That was the word. They were formed in a way that should have been important. Ed, Ed was important._ _The sheets moved._ _"Where...is Al..Is, is he Okay?" Al...Al was important too._ _My fingers gripped the white for dear life. Legs swaying under the weight. I pushed up, strenuously._ _"Hey! Ow! Sensitive...Area."_ _"Oh sorry." The words fell out lifelessly. I was slowly becoming self-aware. Thoughts surfacing, connecting together. But I could not find the strength to move through this fog._ _Edward began to shift around._ _"Win'? Are you okay?" A hand. That was his hand, found my heavy head._ _"Yeah, I'm fine, Ed, I should be asking you." My body still could not accommodate, I wanted to look at him and smile, but I just lay collapsed. Weak. Lifeless._ _"Winry. You're covered in blood-"_ _  
>"I know." I sighed. The effort of just standing up had me completely drained.<em> _"Well, uh," He tried to sit up._ _"Don't you dare sit up." My hand flopped on his chest. "You just got two hunks of metal drilled into your flesh. You're not moving for a week."_ _He groaned. The scolding seemed clear my head. I situated my feet on the ground and pushed back from the bed to sit on my knees. Beholding with dim eyes an even dimmer spectacle._ _"Ed, really, how do you feel?"_ _"Fine." He grunted. Touching his hand to the newly-attached mechanical wonder._ _"This sure is, Weird." He mused._ _"Just one thing." I put up a cautioning finger. "Don't pick at it. It may itch like crazy, but, we can't risk any kind of infection in there. That could be catastrophic."_ _"Right." He looked one more at me. "Win' you really don't look good."_ _"Nice of you to care Ed," I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "But I'm fine."_ _"What ever you say."_ _"I'm glad you seem to be doing well after such a traumatic procedure."_ _"Yeah... But," He gazed out towards the door, "Where's Al?"_ _"I think he's still outside, waiting."_ _"Is he okay?" Ed always seemed to be more concerned about Al, than himself, even in dire situations._ _"I think so, I haven't really checked on him." I looked towards the door. I got shakily to my feet, bracing myself on the bed. "I'll go wash up and check on Al, too. He probably wants to see you." I walked as quickly and naturally as I could to the door, only to trip dramatically on the bed frame, Slamming my head on the frame of the door._ _"Ow, ow, ow. Stupid, Stupid." I clenched my forehead, where I felt a sticky liquid oozing._ _"Winry, are you okay?" I could hear him moving around to get a look, his gasp rang clear. "Winry! That's a lot of blood!" His horror struck expression on his gaunt face was too much._ _"Ed. I'm fine. Heads always bleed like this." With even more difficulty, My fingers wrapped around the gauze I kept near Ed's bed. He still looked at me worriedly as I pressurized my bleeding brow._ _"Winry, let me help you." He craned over the bed to me, grasping with his left hand._ _"Ed. You shouldn't move. You'll-"_ _"I'll open my wounds I know." He withdrew with a dark expression I strained to look up. I saw there a face of resoluteness._ _"Damn it. I hate being so weak." His fist clenched. "Winry. I promise I'll get strong quickly. Not only to fulfill my promise to Al, but so that I can protect you!" His eyes burned with that fire. that dangerous fire._ _"More promises, Ed?" My joking tone died in the air._ _"Yes, Winry. I don't want more people to be hurt for me. I want to get stronger, to walk again." He looked at me with those burning eyes, They took my breath away._ _Staggering under the pain of my forehead, and my suddenly labored breathing._ _"That's great, Edward." I smiled as I passed out again. Face to the clean white sheets._

Winry woke with a start as the door shuddered open. "Miss Winry? Are you awake? We've been ordered to escort you to the prison. "Prison?" "Yes. You are to wait there with Alphonse Elric until Edward has completed his tasks." "Oh, all right."


	10. CHILDHOOD

_This is a gift for my wonderful reader Dylexa. This is what happens when you review a lot. You get gifts of EdxWin adorable love.__It's weird. I never intended to be a fluff writer. Although I should probably stick with what I know. But hooray! This is the 10th chapter! KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!_

* * *

><p>"I'm going to marry her!" Edward screamed.<br>"You're so mean to her brother! She likes me better!" Al landed a punch square on his brother's jaw.  
>"No way! She likes me better!" Edward sweep kicked Al from beneath him, sending him hurtling halfway down the hill.<br>"Does not!" Al called tauntingly, while clambering back up the hill.  
>"Does TOO!" He jumped from the crown of the hill colliding with Alphonse, the momentum carried them both down the hill in a loud heap, landing in a muddy mess.<br>"Eeew." Al whined as he scraped mud off his face and clothes.  
>"Softy!" Ed smashed a slab of mud into Al's already filthy face.<br>"Brother! You play dirty!" Al Returned a slab of mud. Dirtying the sheen of Ed's hair.  
>"Hey gross!" He tried desperately to clean off the mud, when he was knocked over with a powerful tackle.<br>"Al! You're the one playing dirty.!" The two boys fiercely battled for dominance in the mud pit. Exchanging punches. Until a blonde girl bearing a small wrench came screeching down the hill, pausing Ed in his moment of near Victory.  
>"Winry! What are- Unf!" He was suddenly pulled down under his brother, slightly dazed. "1-2-3 I win!"<br>"Al! That's not fair! She distracted me!" Ed stood up, brushing his brother off him and staggering to the dry grass, near the disgusted girl.  
>"Ew! Gross! Don't come near me!"<br>"Winry! I need to ask you something!" Ed said in resolute innocence, creasing his brow.  
>"No! I won! I get to ask her!"<br>"Yeah right!" Ed swung at Al's jaw. But he tripped on a root twisting his ankle painfully.  
>"Stop! Stop!" She held her wrench over the heads of the squabbling boys.<br>Ed looked up to his favorite playmate, biting down the pain. "Why do you have to fight! You can both just ask me."  
>Breaking free from their brief moment of terror, they shouted in unison.<br>"Winry! I want to marry you when we get older!"  
>She stood in shocked silence at their sudden request.<br>They were so young once. They hardly understood what "Marriage" meant. The two brothers asked Winry's parents just before this fight. "Sometimes, two people who like each other very much decide that they like each other enough to live together." Sara Rockbell, would sweetly answer, "Boys, be careful, and make sure you pick a good woman for yourselves." Urey would answer with a smile.

Winry just stood in astonishment. Gawking at her two friends. She liked both of them, but she couldn't deny a small part of her that wanted to be with Ed more than Al. But, she knew that Ed would just make fun of her if she admitted her attraction.  
>"No way! I'd never marry anyone who's shorter than me!" She crossed her tiny arms, snootily turning up her nose.<br>"What?" Ed crumbled to the ground horrified. "I'm not short! I'm not a shrimp so small that the vast ocean swallows him whole!" He was collapsed twitching pitifully in the mud. "Get up Ed! You'll catch a cold!" She roughly grabbed his hand.  
>"Oww! careful Winry!" He fell precariously onto his good leg. Almost knocking her frail form into the grime.<br>"What's wrong Ed? Are you hurt?"  
>"No. I'm fine." While trying to stand upright he careened over into Winry again. This time she grabbed his muddy shoulders firmly.<br>"Brother are you sure you're okay?" Al squeaked.  
>"Al, I'm fine." He said, disgruntled. He had two hands planted firmly on her shoulders. She had one arm around his torso, her other brushing the muddy strands from his sweaty face.<br>"Hey! Winry!-"  
>"Come on! Let's get you back to the house." She cradled him on the way back. He couldn't help but blush under the grime. Her touch was so soft and warm. He liked it almost too much every time she playfully hugged him. But the desire embarrassed him to no end. He hated showing any kind of weakness in front of Al. So he pushed her away and made fun of her. Drowning his undeniably growing feelings in anger.<br>So young, but they knew so much. So much that it hurt. When Winry tightly wrapped his aching ankle, he knew he felt something.  
>Life kept going. Her parents died, he tried his hardest to comfort her. She started many things in his life. She started his hatred of his shortness, and she also planted the seeds of his chivalry.<br>"No...I wont make her cry." The sense of helplessness tore apart his very soul as he watched her tremble with immense sobs. When he came to visit, he tiptoed into her room, only to have her cry in to his chest. Clinging to his clothes, screaming for her parents to come home.  
>For once he started to carry her. A burden he was too young to bear. But he gained far too many years when his mother died. He felt guilty. Not only for not being strong enough to save his mother. But now for being too weak to hold Winry up. There was no way he could ask her to pick up the pieces of his empty heart, to make him whole again, but he wanted her to.<br>Badly.  
>She wanted it too. She saw the hole in his heart. The hole she could fit perfectly into. He couldn't, no. He just couldn't ask more of her, she had lost too much.<br>They were both so broken.


	11. KNOW

The door slammed. Resounding in her mind. She had been really cruel to Ed. He already had so much to bear, and she was making it worse.

"Ed..." She murmured, letting her arms drop. "Ed...I know you can save us. I know it." She muttered to herself as her feet carried her to the door. She turned the handle, and relit the quiet hallway with her light footsteps. She floated to his room in a daze. And was slightly confused when she stood at his doorway. But she knew she had to knock. She needed to lift him up again. He wouldn't, couldn't get up on his own. Not that he was weak. No he was so strong but, he had a way of moving forward even when his face was still to the ground.

"Ed? You in?" She tapped on the door.

No response.

"Ed, I'm coming in."

She pried the door open. Light falling on him face down on the bed.

"The hell do you want Winry?"

She kneeled down next to him silently. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

His eyes shot open with her being so close. He turned his face away to hide a flushed face.

"What the hell are _you _apologizing for?"

"You seemed really upset. I'm sorry if I pushed you too far Ed. I know that you have a lot to deal with and-"

"That's not your concern Winry-"

"Yes it is Edward!" He turned his wide eyes back to her. "You're my best friend Edward! Your the most important person to me in the world! I thought you knew that!"

"But that doesn't mean-"

"Ed. Why can't you see that friends are meant to help each other. I'm not going to let you shut me out any more." Her voice faltered. "Ed." She clasped both of her hands on the edge of the bed. "Every time you get like this I get scared."

"Winry-" He groaned exasperatedly into his pillow. "You're making it harder than it needs to be."

"No. You're the one who's being stubborn. I'm tired of being silent...Ed." She swallowed her anger so suddenly that Ed looked back at her. He shifted into an upright position. Warily looking at her face that threatened tears.

"Winry, what is it?"

"Ed..."

"Yeah..?"

"I need to know." And she lunged at him. Standing on her knees and roughly smashed her lips onto his gaping mouth. Memories of their grief-stricken kiss came to their minds. But this was much different. Her movements were sharper and more determined without the veil of sadness. Her hands, clamped down on his shoulders, and her mouth moved viciously. She knew what he wanted. He almost smiled at how well she knew him.

He never was a man of words.

His hand gripped her back. Pressing her closer, upward. He lifted her into his lap winding his arms in her long, free-flowing hair. She got her answer. She got more than she wanted as his hands began to wander downward from her shoulders. Strange unfamiliar noises started to bubble up her throat. The closeness was almost too much too bear. Too much to experience, to comprehend.

She released him for a moment, to plunge her head into his neck. Catching him off guard, sending them careening into the covers.

He felt her trembling violently.

"Winry. Winry! What is it?" He lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Tell me what's wrong. Did I do something wrong?" Instead of her being in tears, he was surprised to see that she was laughing.

"Ed! Nothing's wrong at all!" She kissed him wetly again. Pulling away in time to see his crimson blush.

Lying side by side they both began to laugh. They laughed away the worries, troubles and pain that weighed them down.

He nuzzled her hair in the wake of their joy. "Thanks Winry."

"Don't mention it." She pulled herself deep into his chest. He smiled and rustled her hair, and wrapped his arms around her. Closing his eyes and savoring her, until her breathing evened out and well-deserved rest consumed her.

"Winry, I'm sorry but I have to go." He didn't want to, but he pryed her from his chest. She moaned sleepily in protest. But remained unconscious. "I promise, I wont wont let you down. Just believe in me."

"Ed...I need to-"


	12. PAIN

PAIN

In a moment. Every thing turned from white, to black, to red. Pure crimson red that covered every inch of her body. Ripping every cell apart and burning parts of her that she didn't think could even feel pain. No one ever could have imagined this kind of suffering. And in this suffering, there were no names, faces, or even thoughts. Not at first. She couldn't hear, see, she could only scream. Until finally, something came through the impenetrable curtain. Something so infinitesimally small compared to the pressing weight of a million souls, But it in any situation could wake her from the deepest sleep. A sound that she waited for. Even if it was his most tortured scream.

She was cocooned in pain, swirling screams and cries, creating a thick layer of solidifying rock that endeavored to crush every ounce of sentience. To even _exist _ as the person she was. That was a nearly impossible task. But one she would complete.

His voice sliced through the veil. Tearing through the mesh of screams.

_"Dammit! You bastard!"_ Cascading around her like summer rain. Whispering in tiny voices everything that she needed to hear.

The candle of thought was lit.

_Ed. _

Somehow. That face flashed in her mind. Her heart, her soul. His golden eyes as she last saw them, became a small filtering of light.

_Ed!_

Suddenly he was lying on the ground, bleeding. Seeping deep in to the ground. Becoming the red that poisoned her irises. If she could even say she had those anymore.

_No! Ed! you can't die! You have to save us!_

But then she remembered that this was what she was supposed to be saved from.

He had failed.

He had broken his promise.

_No. Ed, that's impossible! You haven't failed yet! There has to be a way!_

But the little of her that was left assured her that there was no way. She was slowly fading, despite her best efforts. Soon the pain would become everything. She would be nothing but her screams.

Amidst her being pushed and tossed around. She could hear the voice getting louder. _He's still alive. Ed... Don't give up. Don't give up!_

She willed her screams to form his name.

"ED! ED!" She repeated the screams. Without lungs your voice cannot get tired. So she shrieked and screamed. Hoping that by some divine chance he would hear her.

_**EED!**_

* * *

><p><em>Winry? Is that you?<em>  
>He heard her. He swore he could hear her. As that fucking bastard screamed. His power was being sucked from him. Some how his old man had managed to save them all. Streaming out of him came the cries of millions of souls, one scream was louder than the rest. Winry. She was calling to him. Somehow. Unfathomably.<br>_Win. I promise I'll be home. With Al, I'll be back. Winry...Winry... _

* * *

><p><em>(AN) GUAH! I finally wrote about this! BUAH being inside the fricken philosopher's stone!  
><em>


	13. WHOLE

WHOLE

_Beep_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Beep_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Beep_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Beep_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Beep_

Pulsing, reassuring. Lullaby, Alarm. A strenuous sound, The most beautiful sound in the world.

His brother's heart beat.

Slow, stuttering,

Alive,

Whole,

Human.

"Brother..."

Complete and flat. flying straight to his ears without the iron cage.

"When are we going to see Winry and Pinako again?" His dry unused vocal chords stretched laboriously.

"Soon." Ed breathed. "I know they'll be waiting."

"Hey Ed,""

"Yeah Al?"

"When we get home are you finally gonna make your move on Winry?" The serenity of the room died.

"What? N-no! What are you talking about? He bolted from his hospital bed. Strained against the IV.

_Shit. I forgot...Win...she'll probably want me to..._

He shook the thoughts away, covering his burning face.

Al chuckled softly. Bright, glorious, beautiful chimes of joy. Clean and pure. Honestly, he didn't need anything more.

"Haha, I'm sure Winry will give you a nice big kiss when you see her again."

_Oh she'll do more that that..._

"D-don't be ridiculous, Al!" He raged at his brother.

"Haha-" His laughter soon turned to wheezing. Ed stiffened, preparing to assist his brother ."Don't worry brother, I'm just still pretty weak." His breaths returned to normal. "Just worry about your self for now brother. You can't take care of me if you're in a hospital bed too."

"Whatever. I'll be fine in no time. I don't need to worry." He lounged back on the bed. Staring at the ceiling.

"You'd better not have any visible scars when you see Winry again."

"What are you talking about?"

"Or any bandages. You know how much Winry hates that."

"Yeah. I know." His left hand wandered to the mass amount of scar tissue on his right shoulder. "I'm just wondering how she'll react to this." His tone fell.

"What? You're arm being flesh and bone again?"

"Yeah, Do you think she'll be...Upset?"

"Upset? Why the heck would she be upset? She'll be overjoyed!"

"Yeah, about _your_ body." He let his hand fall away. "I'm starting to think she really only gave me any attention because I had automail."

"Brother, don't be ridiculous! That was just an excuse! She really does like you. Love you even."

_God, Al do you think I don't know that? I know for a fact that Winry would only let some she loves **that** close to her._

But Al couldn't know how close they had become. It would hurt him. _Break _him.

"Al, come on get some sleep. I'll feel better when you're able to eat solid food."

"Yeah. Me too. I mean, I guess I feel better with this IV drip" He picked at the needle in his arm. "But, it's weird. I really want to _eat_ again." His lips turned down in a frown.

Edward laughed loudly. Throwing his head back. "Al! You look like a little girl."

"Brother!" Al scowled at him.

"Calm down Al." His laughter calmed. "Just be glad that you cheered me up."

"Haha, Yeah." He gazed out the window. "I just can't stop thinking..."

"About what?" Ed sat forward on his knees.

"About...Winry, Gracia, Teacher...and Mei." Al's face changed, in a way Ed definitely did _not_ expect.

"Hey Al." Ed smirked.

"What?"

"You're blushing." His lids fell and his smile widened. "You got the hots for that bean sprout? That's pretty kinky."

"I-I- do not!"

"Denial! And blushing! That's a sure sign!" He placed his arms behind his head and leaned back. "It's lucky that she likes you back enough." Ed sighed. "Sometimes I'm not so sure." _Good half lie._

"What, about Winry? Goodness gracious, stop worrying about that! You're going to make us _both_ ragged."

"Yeah, whatever." He grunted and rolled over on his side, facing away from Alphonse.

"Brother, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just go to sleep."

"Brother, Please tell me."

"Al, I promise I'll tell you everything. Let's just get some sleep now. Please." He closed his eyes. Letting the sound of the heart monitor, and his breathing calm him back to sleep. All words that Al said after that became blurred. Changing. Becoming lower, yet shriller; Brassier, yet kinder; Loud, yet caressing.

"Win-ry..." He murmured, detached.

"Oh brother why wont you ever admit it..."


	14. CONFESS

CONFESS

Being home again was beyond words and belief. His few months in the hospital were agony. He knew Winry would be worried sick. But, His right hand seemed to had forgotten how to hold a pencil after years in the gate, and phone lines don't fix themselves. He waited patently for their health to recover, and finally, he could fulfill all of his promises.

"Ed, can I talk to you? Alone?" Winry returned from the kitchen to where Ed was lounging after eating 3 pieces of apple pie.  
>"Uh, sure." He kept his gaze on her suspiciously. Trying to figure out what she could possibly want from him.<br>They walked the familiar path to her second floor bedroom.  
>"Ed...Even thought we've kissed twice before..." They both flushed profusely at the awkward and heated memories.<br>He took a shaky step forward. "Y-yeah, we have..." She looked up at him, suppressing a giggle.  
>"Ed. I know you're not the best with words...but sometimes they're nice." She took another step forward.<br>They were hardly inches apart. Holding his gaze, she placed her hands on his chest.  
>But he was frozen. He knew that there was something he needed to do. With his hands? His mouth? What was it? His mind was just blank.<br>"Ed, I-" She brought her hands up to grab his face, she was moving in closer. Without thinking he suddenly grabbed her wrists.  
>"Winry, I'm sorry. I care about you-" that was an understatement. "But I-" He didn't know what to say. He was so nervous. So afraid of hurting her. He couldn't give her what she wanted. He just didn't know how.<br>Seeing the sadness, disappointment and confusion pooling in her eyes started to chisel away at his resolve.  
>"But what?"<br>He released her arms and sprinted from the room. Running. He was running away. Since when did Edward Elric ever run?  
>"Ed!"<br>_Damnit! I'm just hurting her even more._  
>He had promised himself that he would be there for Winry when she needed him. He promised he would give back somehow. But he was convinced he had nothing to give.<br>Irritated and flustered. He trudged out to the porch slamming the door behind him.

"Brother? What's wrong?" Al who had probably been in the kitchen the whole time, followed his brother outside.  
>"Nothing."<br>"Oh come on you never act like this unless something's wrong." He sat down on the old familiar porch.  
>"Yeah." Ed's brow was creased in worry and pain.<br>"Come on brother. What's up? Did something happen with Winry?"  
>"Yeah, I guess."<br>"Tell me." He leaned over to look at his brother.  
>"Ugh." He wove his finger together and knotted them in his bangs. "I just don't know what to <em>do<em> about Winry."  
>"You mean you haven't made a move yet?"<br>"No! Well, sorta."  
>"We talked about this in the hospital Ed. You just need to tell her how you feel!"<br>"Yeah, But I'm so bad at that!"  
>"It doesn't matter how bad or good you are at saying it, it just matters that you <em>do<em>. That's what Winry cares about."  
>"Well, it's easy when you say it. I just don't know what I should "<em>do<em>"."  
>"Do what girls like! Just grab her and kiss her! As I know for a fact that she's never kissed before." Ed gulped as he recalled the contradictions to that statement.<br>"Well, we've kinda already..." he said quietly.  
>"You what?" Al stared at his brother open-mouthed<br>"Kissed." Ed said with a reluctant blush.  
>"I know that! But When? How? And why haven't you told me?"<br>"Because it's embarrassing. And confusing."  
>"What's confusing about it? Obviously she has feelings for you!"<br>"Yeah." He shifted uncomfortably on to his automail leg.  
>"And you have have feelings for her."<br>"Yeah."  
>"Then what are you afraid of brother? Go back and talk to her!"<br>"I'm sure that she's really mad at me though."  
>He paused for a moment "I don't hear anything breaking, so she can't be that mad-"<br>He was cut off by the sound of crunching wood followed by an angry scream.  
>"DAMN IT ED! IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY THEN JUST TELL ME DAMN IT! AUUUGH!" And another crash.<br>"Yeah. She's not mad at all." Ed said flatly.  
>"Maybe you should go up there to calm her down." Alphonse said with sweat dripping down his forehead.<br>"No way! I want to live, thank you very much." He then buried his face into his hands. "Uhhg. Why am I so bad at this romance stuff? All I know up until this point in my life, I've learned from books." Then a thought popped into his head "There has to be some kind of book on how to make girls happy right?"  
>"The only thing close to that are romance novels..." Al saw a devious expression creep onto his brother's face. "Ed...you're not gonna-"<br>"I'm going to the book store tomorrow." He said with a triumphant grin that was cut short by the sound of another scream and crash.  
>"You really should go up there brother." Al squeaked in fear.<br>"No! No way!"  
>"Please brother? Before she destroys to whole house." He actually wanted to go up and see her. He wanted so badly to apologize.<br>"Fine!" He bolted up and walked quickly to Winry's bedroom. The only thing that could be heard were light sobs.  
><em>Oh my god, you fucking idiot Ed. You made her cry! <em>He smashed his head into the wall. His balled fists sliding down to his sides. "Winry?"  
>"What!" her voice was a soggy growl.<br>"Are you okay?"  
>"No! Now go away you jerk!"<br>"Win...I'm really sorry. I- I didn't mean- " He swallowed with difficulty. Searching for words to describe why he rejected the kiss of the girl he loved so much. "I'm just...scared."  
>Silence weighed the air for a long moment.<br>"Get in here."  
>He turned the door knob, and walked in to see <em>her <em>lying on her bed wiping her eyes.  
>"Winry- I'm so sorry." He stepped foreword haphazardly. She didn't object when he sat down on the bed, facing away from her.<br>"Winry. Can you please forgive me? I didn't mean to hurt you-"  
>"Ed. I understand. But, it still-" He placed a hand on her shoulder gently. Her eyes widened, and pink crept on to her cheeks. Which caused her to hide her face in the covers.<br>"Win?" He retracted his fingers in fear that offended her.  
>"-made me feel kinda...bad." Her words, for once, failed her.<br>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just afraid."  
>"You keep saying that, but what are you afraid of?"<br>"I don't really know how to describe it...I-" She placed a hand on his arm. Searching down to his hand. He blushed again as she intertwined their fingers.  
>"Don't be afraid to tell me.' Kay? I really want to know what's on your mind. Always." She nuzzled his arm and lower back. Her breath sent chills up his spine.<br>"Okay. Win." He squeezed her hand. "I just...don't really know what you want from me. I'm just afraid of disappointing you, or hurting you. And my, feelings. I don't know how..." She put her other hand softly on his back.  
>"Just don't worry about it okay?" He felt her begin to sit up behind him. "I know that words just aren't your thing. It hurts sometimes. But I understand."<br>"I just wish-" He closed his eyes and balled his fists.  
>"There's no way to avoid pain completely Ed. You should know that all too well."<br>"Yeah.." He relaxed in to her true words.  
>"But what we need to be able to do is work past that pain. Together." She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "All I want is for you to let me be by your side. That's all I ever wanted." She rested her face in the crook of his next. Breathing slowly.<br>"I know Winry." He turned around to look at her. Their faces brushing together. "But Winry, you have been by my side all this time. With me and Al. I don't think we would have been able to make it without you." He placed a hand on her cheek and smiled. With a sweet and simple kiss. He told her how he felt. How he had always felt. When he drew away he just pulled her into a deep hug. "Thanks, Winry." "I never feel like I've told you that enough." He kissed her again. Longer and truer. He held her closely as they shared their feelings in the most effective way.

* * *

><p><em>I don't like writing make-out scenes because it's difficult to avoid the cliche. and I hate cliche. Witch is why I avoid canon stories. But then I feel bad for making them so short. If given enough inspiration I'll write a more substantial make out scene in the future.<em>  
><em>Although I still don't know how or when I'm going to end this series anyway.<em>


	15. SEEDS

SEEDS

"We're almost ready for you sir, just hold on." Winry finished up Ed's tune up with a last wipe of her polishing rag. "I still can't believe that you managed to break your leg within 10 feet of this house..." She did a final check on all the mechanisms. "Please be more careful.."  
>"Stranger things have happened...I mean," He flinched at her glare " Yeah. I'll be careful."<br>"Love to hear it." She turned around as he stood up doing his habitual stretchers. He even stretched his right arm, out of habit.  
>"You ready yet?" Pinako called from around the corner.<br>"Know your limits okay, Ed?" Winry chided one last time. Before she called back to her grandmother. "Send him in!"  
>"I'm gonna be at the book store. Try not to be too worried if I miss dinner today. Okay?"<br>"Yeah, Got'cha." She wasn't listening to him. He just sighed and made his way out of the house into the sunny country day.

Edward still had enough money left over from the state military to last him a few years into the future. And he had nothing against spending that money on a couple whims. Like romance novels. He just felt more secure with a book in his hands telling him what to do. Where to go. He may even pick up one of those new "How To" books that were just starting to come out. He is just so confused about everything that Winry does. Learning it from ink and paper would sure help. But that was most definitely a simpler task when laughingly declared to a baffled brother.

Ed stared dismayed at the tall book shelves containing his supposed lifesavers. His idea started to seem less and less brilliant as he scanned the displays row after row. Looking for one that didn't picture a scantily clad chick being boned by some masculine long haired guy... Although that portrayed his goal quite clearly, he was too self conscious to get something so flashy, and girly...

He settled on a novel called "Hafrida's Sword" Which, had a sword hilt on the cover making it infinitely more appealing than any of the other titles. He thought that this strong willed and stubborn heroine might give a moderately accurate representation of what to expect from Winry. Because, it's not that he needed to get inside her head, it's that he purposely tried to tune out every time Mustang or his men would mention(drunkenly) some kinky practice or technique that not only was too weird to listen to, but the guys would _not _stop pestering him about his hot "girlfriend". Back then that thought flustered him to no end.

And now it still made him blush and sweat, because he wasn't _quite_ sure if they were... "Mutually Exclusive" yet. He always suspected that it would take a while for him to ever be able to say it out loud.

To justify his trip he picked up a random Progressive Science journal. It was interesting, because it's pages contain science that's not alchemy. Extensive studies on the basics of Biology and Physics. They are actually quite interesting even out of context, he soon discovered.

* * *

><p>"How about you try walking on it now?" Winry had brought her patient, a young farm boy, probably 19, into the living room to try out his newly repaired leg.<p>

Ed couldn't help but notice how unnecessarily close he was holding her; his hand seemed to drift from her back, slowly to her...Chest. He tried to focus on the enrapturing story of war, betrayal and lust. (that was hidden stealthily behind his science journal.) Because he really, _really_ had the urge to punch that guy in the mouth. Just his sleazy look. He was definitely checking her out. God. How can Winry be so clueless?

"Alright. I'll be right back." She flashed him her dazzling smile. Ed even found him self slightly dazed.  
>"Dayyyyum!" The farm boy exclaimed. "She is smokin'"<br>"Mm right." He grunted, masking his building rage.  
>"What? You a homo or something? How could you not appreciate that bod!"<em> Dear lord if it weren't for Winry being in the next room over, you're guts would be on the ceiling.<em>

Hearing men talk about her enraged him unbelievably_. _Yes. Any man with eyes can see how extremely "Hot" she is. Sure. Ed would admit that quietly to himself. But what pissed him off most of all was that these stupid Horny farmhands and engineers are too _blind _ to see what truly makes her beautiful.

"God, will you shut up?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"You should know that she's taken."  
>"Oh yeah? By who." He stood up. "Not you lazy son of a bitch who abandoned her just like your dad did!"<br>He bolted from the couch and pinned the bastard up against the wall by his collar.  
>"Don't you fucking <em>dare <em> compare me to that bastard!" He screamed, Lifting his muscled left arm to clock him right in the-  
>"Ed! Put him <em>down<em>!" The farmboy fell to the ground moaning, while Ed went to collect his books.

Winry stopped him from retreating. "Ed! You can't rough up my paying customers like that!" She spat in pure rage as she helped the _fake limping_ farm bastard back to his feet. (he was limping on the opposite side that he was dropped on.)  
>"Yes I sure as <em>hell <em>can after what he said!" Ed gestured dismissively with the books in his hand.  
>"I don't care what he said Edward! You're violent temper pisses me off!" She huffed and then led "Jake" back to the work shop. He shot Ed a nasty glare as if to challenge his ownership of her.<p>

Edward punched the wall with his booked fist. His copy of Halfrida's Sword cascading to the ground. He was too just plain distraught to even notice.

* * *

><p>"Ed." Winry didn't even bother to knock when she entered Ed and Al's room.<br>"What."  
>"Come with me." She said, regarding Al's sleeping form.<br>He walked on autopilot to where he knew she was taking him. Her room. He knew her too well. Her room was where they had shared most of their more meaningful arguments.  
>"Ed..."<br>"I know what you're gonna say." He said exasperatedly "You're gonna lecture me for beating up on that guy-"  
>"No." She took a step closer to him. "I'm not." It was dark, so it was difficult for Ed to see where she was looking, "I want to thank you." Despite the shadows, he could still feel those radiant blue beams focusing on him.<br>"But you sounded so-"  
>"Ed come on." She shook her head disapprovingly. "You should know that was just for show."<br>Ed blinked in disbelief that he was expected to know that.  
>"Honestly Ed, I've been trying to figure out how to get that guy off me. I mean, he's been after me since I hit puberty, and frankly he's pissing me off."<br>"Yeah. He's kinda an asshat."

She snorted before replying. "But Ed...it's just that, In all the years I've been pursued. I've been offered men who would stay in one place. Support me, "Love me" but..."  
>Ed felt his spirits fall.<br>"Ed." She lifted his drooping chin. "The only man I've ever wanted is you." She smashed her mouth onto his, Trying almost as sloppily as he was, to show emotion. He grunted in amusement under lips. Seizing up the bare sides of her waist. Pulling away for a moment. "Honestly Winry, with the way you dress, you shouldn't be surprised."  
>"Shut up Ed."<br>"No, I'm serious Winry. It's not like I'm mad at you for dressing like that." He flushed as he quickly looked her up and down. "But, it affects the way people think about you." He growled, "And that pisses me off."  
>"Really?"<br>"Yeah, they talk really shitty about you. They only focus on your appearance." His fists clenched at his sides.  
>"Ed..." She brought hands to rest soothingly on his chest. "I appreciate that you want to protect me, but try not to kill my customers, so that we can still eat." She giggled.<br>"Sure thing, Win." He smiled down at her, bringing her deep into his chest. She sighed contentedly, and immersed herself in his scent. Inhaling deeply at the crook of his neck. "Uh, Win?" Ed broke the silence with built up thoughts.  
>"Yeah?" She said with her eyes still closed.<br>"Could you say..that we're...uh, Together now?"  
>She laughed brightly. "Of course Ed." She broke to look him in the eyes. "But to say we're <em>dating<em>, you actually have to take me on a date."  
>"Huh?" His hands began to tremble on her lower back.<br>"Yeah come on. Pinako's on a business trip all today and tomorrow. After my last client we could go to the cafe."  
>"I'd much prefer your cooking, actually."<br>She blushed and smiled. "Really?"  
>"Yeah! Your cooking is amazing!" He said giddily.<br>"Well, let me finish up with Jake, and I got one more appointment. Then Maybe we can go somewhere, then come back for dinner."  
>Then Ed remembered his sensitive brother who would be out making courtesy calls. "You're worried about what <em>he'll<em> think about us being together." Winry read his mind.  
>"Yeah." She led him to sit down on her bed. She placed a comforting hand on his back. Drawing circles and designs.<br>"You shouldn't worry about it so much. Al's an understanding one."  
>"Yeah, I know he'll be grossed out by it primarily, but I know he has feelings for you too. And they have rekindled since he got his body back." He said with staggering difficulty.<br>"The way I see it." She pushed her hair away from her face and looked him in the eyes. "If you think that him having me would make Al happy, you would step aside, but, Al wouldn't be happy because you'd be sad..."  
>"Yeah I would be." Ed said, drawing Winry's attention. "Because I want you too." She grinned and wrapped her arms around him.<br>His face caught on fire in reaction to her increasing nearness._  
>She still effects me so much.<br>I'm never going to get used to being so close to him.__  
><em>

They met in their no man's land. A place where their bodies are not their own, but offered to the one they love. A place filled to the brim with uncertainty, doubt and fear. A place where they are together. Where the seeds dropped by experiences are watered by tears and laughter. They dance in their desert. In the small swarthing of grass and leaves. Exploring every corner. Turning every leaf; and wanting so badly to venture into the blazing, threatening empty sands. Looking at a distant horizon, where they promise to go someday. Together.

They will plant more seeds. From now until forever.

She somehow ended up underneath him. His exhilarative breath threw all her thoughts out the window.

"Oh shit!" Her eyes flew open.  
>"What..." He moaned as he nibbled her neck.<br>"I have another customer! Shit!" She yanked up her tube top and shoved Ed off her. Her arms went through the sleeves of her jumpsuit as she bolted down the stairs.  
>Jake must've left without her, and Carter was due in about 5 minutes. She sighed heavily and sat down on the couch. She was buzzing with what just happened to her. They hadn't even gotten <em>that<em> far and she was bubbling over with glee. He was so good without even trying. She pulled her bandanna out of her pocket to tie her hair up, when she noticed something over by the stairs.  
>It was a book.<em><br>Strange. All our books are in the study. It must be Ed or Al's._  
>She picked up the small paperback novel.<br>"Halfrida's Sword." She read the back. Seemed like an actually decent romance novel._  
>Maybe one of my customers dropped it.<em>  
>She didn't have any female customers that day.<em><br>Maybe one of them bought it for their girlfriend or something._  
>She aimlessly started thumbing through the pages. There she noticed scrawled notes in the margins. Circled phrases and dog-eared pages. Things that needed to be "Remembered". Notes also included, "Watch out for that" and "Try this sometime". They were all plausible advances and things that were done during kissing.<em><br>This is weird...wait._

She recognized that handwriting. She had seen it in the _one_ letter Ed sent her. The letter she read over and over and over again since the day she got it._  
>Ed...what the hell?<em>  
>She put the book down and greeted Carter with a smile. She noticed that his eyes flashed dismayed to her tightly zipped up jumpsuit. <em>Pervy old man.<em>

* * *

><p>"Ed. What is the meaning of this." She leaned in the door frame of her door waving the flimsy book in the air.<br>The still shirtless Ed sat up and went deep red.. "No reason! Uh, research!  
>"I believe that, but." She chuckled.<br>"What?" She laughed louder.  
>"It's just so <em>funny. <em> The way you go about things. It's ridiculous."  
>"Well, How am I supposed to learn about that stuff anyway? It's not like I have any experience."<br>She sidled up to him and poked him the ribs with the book. "You can get "experience" with me." He blushed even deeper. She threw the book away and trailed her fingers down his chest. She felt his breath catch and his heart stutter as she got closer. She smiled at having so much control over him. Her nose brushed the tip of his and she watched his eyes fall shut in anticipation. Her hands wandered lower dragging moans from deep in his throat. Their lips hardly touched when a sudden fear of what could happen, caused her to summon a hasty justification.  
>She decided to tease him.<br>She whipped away suddenly. Smiling to her self.  
>"What? Winry! What's wrong." She instantly felt guilty when she saw the look of confusion and worry. But it quickly melted when he saw her gleaming grin. "Oh come on Winry! Don't screw with me like that!"<br>"But it's fun!"  
>"Augh!" He fell backwards on the bed.<br>"I'm gonna get dinner ready. I'll call you when it's done."  
>"Right." He groaned.<br>Now left again to his thoughts. Left to contemplate what he had just experienced. Even the simplest of touches sent him in to a whirl wind of unfamiliarities. The tactile taste of her tongue. The feel of the forbidden, untouched skin of her peaked chest... He was so shocked that it had gotten that far, that _fast_. He hated the thought of being such a horny bastard, but resisting her, that was completely insurmountable.  
>So <em>impossible. <span>Unthinkable<span>._

* * *

><p><em>I'm not gonna be able to update for the next two weeks, I'll be at arts camp, but while I'm away, please send me ideas for what to write so that when I get back I might actually be able to get a chapter up!<em>


	16. NIGHTMARE

NIGHTMARE

There is a certain unique and irreplaceable brand of sensitivity that you acquire when you are deeply in love with someone. To a point when you are constantly aware of every motion. Every breath, every possible clue to unencrypt the deepest of needs that are entrenched deep within the human heart. From the depths of sleepless nights and silent mornings, she learned that Edward is a near hopeless twisting mess of feelings and desires. Full to shattering with broken piles of emotions. He is only kept standing by his incredible _need_ to protect her. His desire to hold her and keep her alive and happy. So he keeps many things unspoken. The lingering pain and internal scars; the dark, empty, lonely thoughts. He hates being so exposed. He never wants to show any weakness.

But that perhaps is his greatest weakness. And the only flaw in his plan.

Because seeing him to matted and contorted weighs mammothly on her heart.

Curled around him in the night. She can feel his sprinting heart. Taste his poisoned breath. Hammering inside his shell, threatening to splinter apart. It could even break them both. Until finally he breaks free and slumps on his knees releasing the bad dreams with heavy breaths. This happened at least three times a week.

But his nightly hysterics would soon reach it's peak.

Often there would be words, but this time there was only a tortured scream.

He convulsed and bolted up right, his skin cold and petrified.

"Edward. Please calm down, it's alright." She crooned, pulling her arms around his clouded torso. "Ed...Edward. what was it about this time.?" No matter the number of repetitions. Her concern was never ever diluted. "Ed."

His breath came with great difficulty. Staggered, segmented, arduous. He squeezed her hand roughly, "Oh my God...Winry" His words laced with stale gasps. "I-I-" His voice cut out.

"Ed, you know that you can tell me-"

"I killed you."

She took shock deep into her lungs.

"What do you-"

"I was the one who killed you! Not scar! Not homunculi, Me!" He collapsed in spasms. Clawing at the sheets. Winry enveloped him. "Ed," She whispered serenely and clawed at his drenched flesh.

"Ed, it's okay."

"Winry, you just don't understand! You...so much blood. Oh my god.." He fastened his hand to his mouth, beginning to wretch. He lurched from the bed. Stumbling in a cacophony of panic, to the bathroom. The noise was followed by violent heaving.

Winry briskly followed. Pulling back his greasy hair. Her hands gliding over his strained muscles. Futilely trying to calm them. She gazed on with iced over cobalt orbs. The way he would act during the day, you would never have guessed that he suffers this much, Behind his smile, that is where the shadow lies. It never truly left, never once since his mother died, it's been eating away at him for 13 long years. Leaving him scarred, and cold.

"Ed, It's okay, It was only a dream. I'm just fine." She murmured as she smoothed out his hair. "Come on baby, You're gonna be fine..." She placed a kiss on his jaw "How about we get you some water."

His bare chest was still clammy as she slipped her arms around him. Guiding his lifeless form to the kitchen. The only real action he could muster was to idly wipe his mouth on his wrist. All the time why looking at him, her worry was struggling to escape her carefully guarded eyes. She kept an arm entwined with his gnarled body. Her other hand steadying his shoulder. He sighed and leaned heavily on the kitchen counter. Sweat finally drying from his skin. He drank the water that was given to him with a deep grunt of relief. Winry was just putting the glass away, when he decided to make his exodus back to his room. Away from Winry. Although he needed her desperately. Her was hurting her, he couldn't hurt her.

"Edward. Come on, come back to bed." She said quietly as he opened the door to his shared room with Alphonse.

"God Winry, I'm tired, just let me sleep."

"Yes, I'd like you to sleep." She deadpanned.

"You're just so needy Winry. Jus-" She sprinted to his side. Catching him in her grasp.

"Ed! Just hear me out for a little, please!" She didn't want to argue while sleep deprivation and fear made him unreasonable. "Ed. I know you. You're getting restless and anxious. It's been over a year." She choked back tears. "I love you, Ed. All I want is for you to be happy." She played the last card she had. Desperate. "I can't stand this-"

"Just let me sleep, Winry." He threw her off, fighting the urge to hold her, kiss her, tell her it would all be okay, but he didn't feel like lying.

He slammed the door on her, she slid down the door frame in defeat. She knew for a fact that she would not be able to sleep until she heard his loud snores.

Neither of them slept that night.


	17. BELIEF

BELIEF

She promised herself that if the avoidance lasted for over a week, she would talk to him. Try and drag him out of self-brought prison. But with every silent passing, and every cold glance avoided, she saw his eyes getting darker. Eyes that said. _Help me. Save me! Don't abandon me! _

_I can't. I just can't do this anymore. _Her thoughts untangled, and her body made it's decision.

"Ed," Her hand returned home. "I'm not busy right now. Can we talk?"

"Sure, whatever," He shrugged as he followed her out to the porch. His indifference dug deep under her skin.

With their feet dangling over the edge, breeze ruffling through hair. Life felt simpler for a moment. Calmer. Like nothing had really changed.

"Edward."

"Yeah?"

"How have you been? I mean, we haven't really been talking these past few days." Her body closened. Falling to her place on his shoulder. But in her peripheral vision, she saw him stiffen, Move away.

"Ed, what's wrong." She looked over at him. Concern filtering into the blue.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"I _am_ worrying about it."

"Why." He rolled his eyes and cocked his head at her sarcastically.

"Because I haven't seen you act like this since when you tried to bring your mom back!"

Alertness came into his face. "So-"

"Ed! It scares me! For a while back then I though you were gone! No, you were gone! I've lost you enough times already!"

"Just- please don't cry-"

"Ed! Augh! If you want me to cry less then stop being such an idiot!" She looked straight out, repeating her excuse, bringing her fists down on her thighs. Body drooping forward,

He leaned forward to catch her. "Winry, please. I'm sorry- I- I just-"

"Spit it out." She growled. His hands withdrew.

"I've been thinking a lot. And trying to figure out how to stop these nightmares, because, I feel like I'm losing it."

"Ed, Isolating your self wont help." She let her hair fall over one shoulder as she looked at him. "Al's just frantic. He thinks he did something wrong." Ed ran a hand through his hair.

"I can't believe this."

"You shouldn't be surprised that we all worry about you."

"Mm."

"Is that really all that's been bothering you? Then why do you shrink away?" She lifted a hand through the air to rest on his shoulder.

He brushed it away gently. "I'm afraid. Pathetically enough."

"It's okay to be afraid."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"It's weak."

"It's human."

"But _I _have to be strong."

"Why."

"To protect you."

"Yes, okay," Her body shifted. "then what are you afraid of?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"I could hurt you! I've always put you in danger! What's to keep some lunatic from coming after you, wanting the information I can give? Alchemical or militarily. They'll do it Winry. They know about you. I might end up traveling again, then you'll be vulnerable!"

"Ed! Please! Don't worry about that!"

"Why?" He huffed, looking at her challengingly.

"Because even if I do get captured, I know you'll protect me, Right? You always have! Stop doubting yourself!"

They were standing know, breathless, close and raged. "Winry...You can't just blindly put faith in me...Because I didn't save all of you last time, it was that bastard of a father. I'm next to powerless now."

"But Ed, I want to believe in you, because-"

"Because what."

"You _need_ to travel again."

Ed looked at her, confusion coating his face. "Ed, you need to travel again, and I'll let you." She sat back down on the porch again. Ed copied her, not taking his wide eyes away from her. "After all, you're birthday's coming up. You'll be seventeen soon-"

_Birthday, birthday...augh...what am I forgetting-_ "Wait, Winry!"

"What?"

"Where's my present?"

"Already-?" She looked irritated.

"No, no, no...That present you gave all those years ago, that little Flamel necklace." The Flamel, the symbol emblazoned on his signature coat and worn proudly on his brother's armored shoulder, tattooed on his teacher's collarbone.

"Oh- that... I think _I_ may have even forgotten..." She stood up, dragging Ed by the hand. "Where did I hide it..." She mused, leading him into the living room. "I know I must have put it somewhere that I would remember- Ahah!" She lifted up an old picture of Ed with only two limbs and his hair scraggly pulled back away from his face. Underneath it dangled the small silver charm, hanging from a matching silver chain.

Looking at it she remembered the countless hours she spent forming each of the rings by hand. When Ed saw it, he recalled all the days he limped on that god damned prosthetic leg, being followed around by critical words and loving hands.

"It's more beautiful than I remember," Ed breathed. Winry felt chagrin crowd her features. Her arm jutted out behind her, shoving the Flamel in his face. "Here. Take it. You've waited long enough." Her tone was low and dark, shooing out her fragrant emotions.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She turned around and looked him in the eyes. "Nevermind. Let me put it on you."

"O-okay..."

Her arms wrapped around his neck, dragging the chain with them. She did up the fastener skillfully, without even breaking her gaze with Ed. Her arms remained. Running around on his neck and back while they inhaled deeply. She was taken into his arms. Starved, deprived, he could not forbear her embrace any longer.

"Win', I'm sorry."

She suddenly peeled back the collar of his shirt on the right side. Running her fingers over the disfigured skin.

"What do you have to be sorry for? You kept your promises." Her right hand undid the buttons on his shirt while her left exposed his recrudesced arm. She ran her hand down along the length. Taking comfort in the warm fingers there. "Now that this is back, you keep so many more." She kissed the scar tissue. Then his neck, jaw, extremely flushed cheek. "I'm just glad you made it back okay. It doesn't matter if you have to leave again. Just come back." Her breath danced on his lips.

"You don't have to worry about that." He quenched the desire, giving into the temptation. His fears still sat in his mind, mocking him, holding him down. The desire to protect her went both ways. Propelling him forward, holding him back. Encouraging his desires to be let loose, and yet trapping them deep in his throat. Teetering on the edge of his nerved. Electricity, frozen in time.  
>Until of course, he actually touched her.<p>

* * *

><p>"Ed, maybe we should get a room." She said finally, from underneath his heavy form on the couch.<p>

"Yeah." His face cracked into a smile. He lifted her up, cradling her in his arms, carrying her to her bed, _their_ bed.

For his fears were easy to forget in the wash of her gaze, the sea of her warmth, and the promise of her lips.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Hah! You thought I forgot didn't you! (Actually I did. I only remembered the charm when I was editing chapter four. Ahah. It's so ridiculously ironic, huh?)_

_And, sorry. No lemon. Or even a lime. Too lazy. I like cliff hangers better._

_And by now, I finally figured out how I'm ending this. Wheee..._

_Stay tuned, _

_and review._


	18. SILENCE

SILENCE

Courtesy calls they said. They wouldn't take long. "This isn't long term Win, I promise" Ed patted her head reassuringly.  
>"We just need to thank the people who helped us on our journey." Al said cheerily.<br>"And you'll be last because you helped us the most." His hand slipped from the crown of her head. He kissed her forehead, and he almost escaped, when she harshly snared his mouth for an awkward farewell. "Dammit Win... not in front of Al," He groaned when she released him.  
>"Oh shh." She slapped his shoulder as he turned. "You're ridiculous."<br>"Oh I'm ridiculous..." He rubbed his shoulder and threw up a dismissive good bye as they left for the train station.  
>"Just- be careful okay?" She called after them. They both turned around,<br>"Uh yeah, sure thing. Don't worry okay?" Ed called back.  
>"Good bye! See you soon!"<br>"See you...soon." Yeah. He definitely would.  
>She felt it when he left. A small piece of her going along with him. It didn't lessen when he lost his automail arm. It really felt like it had become baffling aggrandized. Almost like a weight, not an emptiness. No matter how much her body cried out against it, she had to accept it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Well F*** Ed. You're gone for two months and all you can give me is a groan?"<br>"It's kind of difficult to muster any kind of pleasantry when you're dying of blood loss." he squeaked as he clutched his spanking new concussion.  
>Al watched Winry fuming with a drop of sweat dripping down the side of his face "Please calm down Winry." He grabbed Ed off the ground, then made his way to Winry. "I'm just glad to be back again." He gave her a sweet honest hug. "Thanks Winry, for everything." Then he walked back out the door.<br>"Al, where are you going?" Winry called after him.  
>"I have one more thing to do before I go to Xing. I'm sorry but I think this is last you'll see of me for a while."<br>"Xing?" She let the information settle. "Oh, you're going to see that Mei girl right?"  
>"Mhmm." He smiled. Cheeks dusting slightly. "I'm gonna learn Alkahestry with her. Plus Zampano and Jerso said the wanted to see me again, in Central, so I'll probably end up visiting Gracia and Elicia again."<br>"Well, Have a safe journey." Her legs acted on their own. She grabbed him into a running hug. Almost knocking him over. "I'll miss you." She whispered into his neck, smiling. When she drew away, she noticed he was blushing. "Yeah, I-I gotta go catch my train!" He waved awkwardly as he walked away again.  
>"Make sure to write!"<br>"Sure thing Winry!" Winry was purposely ignoring the disapproving grunts she heard from behind her. Ed was retreating.  
>"Hey!" She stopped the door with her foot and skipped to hug him from behind. "Don't act like I'm neglecting you. I missed you too." She nuzzled the back of his neck.<br>"Yeah, okay." He grunted, attempting to alleviate him self from her constricting grip. He succeeded. Much to his surprise. She felt the irritation building in him. She'd let him cool down. He was a lot angrier than she initially though.  
>"E-" She began. "-d" She followed him. He dropped his suitcase on the ground.<br>"Win, I'm not in the greatest mood." His weight fell heavily onto the couch.  
>"Now why is that?"<br>"Come on, I haven't seen you in months and I don't even get a hello, or even a hug."  
>"You'd better just get used to that. I need someway to express my irritation."<br>"Well, sorry about that," He rubbed his new bump.  
>"I really did miss you."<br>"Well, you better get used to it, because the next time I leave it's going to be for a long time."  
>"Yeah, I know." I said sadly. "When are you leaving?"<br>"Next week. I was hoping you could give my leg a check up before I go."  
>"Sure. We can do it now. I have an opening."<br>"Great."  
>He followed her to her room, her work shop. Every time he walked in he got so many flashbacks. And, even flashbacks of having flashbacks. Geez.<br>He sat down, tore off his pants to begin the familiar procedure. He caught him self taking off his shirt, and chuckled darkly to himself.  
>"What is it?" She said curiously, tools in hand.<br>"Nothing, I just realized that I'm not completely used to having two flesh arms yet."  
>She smiled and began tapping the automail lightly. "It seems alright. At least you didn't smash the cylinder this time." her eyes searched around, cataloging every scratch and dent. "Ed, you didn't get into any trouble while you were gone did you?" She said through gritted teeth.<br>"N-no. I swear- "  
>"Calm down, I was just checking." She lifted up the leg, testing the joint. "Ed, you skipped a couple days of oiling didn't you?"<br>"Hey- Sorry." She began oiling without replying. In the process she flitted her fingers over the connecting flesh. "You need some lotion. Uhg, that's really gross." Her affection took many forms.  
>He couldn't help but blush awkwardly as her fingers worked the salve into his scarred flesh. "While I'm at it, I should just moisturize your shoulder." Without asking she started to unbutton his shirt.<br>"I-I can do it-" But she was too fast. She had already revealed the chapped and puffy skin. The relief her hands brought yanked a few involuntary moans from his mouth.  
>"Geez Ed don't get too exited."<br>"Shut up." When she ran dry, she began to trail her fingers across his collar bone. He took in a sharp breath. He felt her draw near, her muscles strained and tensed, causing her to become close to him.  
><em>Win, I want to, I really want to-<em>  
>The fear was still alive. Why, why?<br>He decided to indulge her, try not to hurt her too much. He kept a strangle hold on his self-control, let her kiss him, savoring this sweet moment. He drew away slowly, doing his best to smile while he patted her head affectionately.  
>"Thanks Win, for everything." He began to stand up. She grabbed his hands and followed. Her smile was luminous. There was no real need for words as they walked back out of the room. She had gleaned all that she needed from his expression.<p>

"Ed. Tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong-"

"I can tell when you fake a smile Ed." Her hand tightened around his. Constricting. "You wore a fake smile all those years you traveled. Every grin and laugh, they weren't genuine. Not until the day you came home, with Al human again, you truly smiled- Ed, where has that gone? Your eyes are growing dull again-" She stopped short when she saw darkness conjugate in his eyes. When his hand fell away her heart froze and her own face became contorted. She tried to control her accelerated breathing. "Ed! Don't push me away!"

Silence burned in their ears. Words fell in obligation. Fear tainted their eyes. Everything that is built can seem to fall apart in an instant. The smiles remained in the daylight, but in the night, sleeping alone or even together- there were just too many thoughts imprisoned, so much they still had yet to understand. It alomst felt that both words and actions had become useless.

But it just felt so wrong.


	19. PROMISES

_(A/N)Gah. Even though I said I hate writing about canon events, for this story to make sense, it is a necessity._

* * *

><p>PROMISES<p>

The goodbyes are _always_ the worst. They mute words and shatter actions. Love becomes immobile. Trapped deep in the heart, while the mind is whirring, struggling to ignore the pain of the task at hand: Leaving behind the one that is most inexpressibly precious.

Edward sat slouched next to a resigned Winry. Arms frozen, Lips adhered. Only grunts escaped his mouth, as her pointed words spattered about him.  
>He didn't want to have to do this. To have to say goodbye, he didn't want his journey to come at the cost of such suffering. They were both just so scared.<br>He couldn't do it. He couldn't just leave without telling her. Without assuring a future. Two years had to have been enough.  
>Foot on the train entrance. He would do it. Turning around, staring her down. building up every ounce of confidence, Face flooding with the effort.<br>"Equivalent Exchange! I'll give you half of my life in exchange for half of yours!"  
>After all they had been through together, this was all he could muster.<p>

"Augh! Why are alchemists always like this?" Going on about the law of equivalent exchange! Only half?" With the frustration, and her true feelings, she declared "I'll give you all of it!"

It's what he wanted to hear.

It's what he was willing to give.

But she too was nervous and self conscious, taking back her commitment, not wanting to seem too forceful or too needy. She never _ever _wanted to hold him down. Never wanted to see his gold eyes muted ever again.

He laughed. Not at her, but at his own stupidity, and at how much, they really were alike.

"Are you making fun of me?"

_You idiot why didn't you just say it? I love her, she knows, but I have to say it_.

They had done more than enough to show it. They displayed that closeness and trust, but they never did go quite far enough to seal the devotion. With every look and touch- but it had all disintegrated. He felt like a coward for not taking that final step, for abandoning her in that forest. But he knew, deep with in the cascading, resounding caverns of his soul, he had all the time in the world.

"No, you just cheered me up." Her rage faded, face stained pink. He drew her in tightly. Silently asking forgiveness. There was the passion they had been missing.

Vehemently, he uttered "I'll come back. If ever you need me, I'll return."

Shrouded by the smoke, he stole a kiss. A kiss so simple and innocent, yet filled with fervor.

"I love you." He breathed into her neck.

His hands drifted away. Only memory remained, etched in her skin. Looking into her eyes, she was everything he ever wanted. Everything he was leaving behind. He warmed her with his gaze, with his promise.

When the smoke cleared she was cold again.

* * *

><p>(AN) Yup, Ladies and gentlemen(if you're a guy and read this message me and I'll give you something special.) that's the End! Please don't cry 'cus I might just cry. Don't worry, I have more EdXWin and other FMA stories on the way(and some non-FMA!). I might do a post-manga fic, although my last attempt was a failure. (R.I.P Nightmares ;.;) Even though the story is over I'm going to be actively editing and improving.  
>I love you all! thanks so much!<p> 


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